


Conversations

by hopelesslydevoted



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-05-07 22:23:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5472737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopelesslydevoted/pseuds/hopelesslydevoted
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it's easier to talk about things to someone who isn't in your life, especially to a stranger, over the phone. This is exactly what this is, just two strangers talking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N1: I was reading a story - yes, it was CC RPF, if you must know - thinking how people do it, how do they write dialogue that flows so effortlessly. I'm not a smooth talker, so dialogue is something I trip and stumble over. What I am is a fighter; I shall not be defeated by my fear of writing dialogue. And thus, I gave myself a challenge that lead to this. This is just mindless chattering, leading nowhere.
> 
> A/N2: Darren is italics, Chris is regular.

_"M'Yeah."_

"Oh, great, you're a guy."

_"Uh, who is this?"_

"Ummm... Someone you don't know, but it's fine, because I don't know you either."

_"Okay."_

"I know this is-... What?"

_"Okay. I'm listening. You peaked my intrest. Consider my interest peaked."_

"That's it? That's enough for you? You were supposed to... to hang up or, shit, I don't know... yell at me a little for calling you at 2:13 AM and probably waking you up and _then_ , hang up. You were supposed to at least ask questions. "

_"Clearly, you don't know me. If you did, you would know that I'm always up for adventure. And calling a stranger in the middle of the night on a weekday, might I add, sounds like the beginning of an epic adventure. But I am asking questions. My first one being: What's up?"_

"You're crazy."

_"Dude, I'm not the one calling a stranger in middle of the night."_

"I... I'm not really crazy. I just... Sometimes it's easier to talk about things to someone who isn't in your life."

_"I get it. I'm not judging, not at all... And I didn't mean you were actually crazy or anything."_

"Okay."

_"So... Clearly, you had something you wanted to talk about... with someone?"_

"Yeah. I need to ask you something first, as in I need you to answer a question first."

_"Okay.Three or four, depends how you count."_

"Huh? I... What?"

_"You wanted an answer to a question, so I gave you one. It was an answer to a question, not perhaps the question in your mind... But I can, you know, answer your question too."_

"Uh... This is... awkward."

_"More awkward than calling a stranger in middle of the night?"_

"You're not going to let that go, are you?"

_"Okay, okay, I'm letting go...Just ask the damn question. Do it quick, like ripping off a bandaid. Then, it won't feel so awkward."_

"... How you feel about guys?"

_"... As in general or...?"_

"As in guys doing things with other guys."

_"What kind of things are we talking about?"_

"Sex. We're talking about sex... And kissing and dating and everything."

_"Okay, got it.... I'm okay with it. No, that sounds wrong. I'm great with it?"_

"Are you asking me?"

_"No... Yeah, I'm great with it... In fact, I'm perfectly fine with it."_

"Okay."

_"... So did I pass the test or would you want to try your luck by dialing another random number?"_

"It wasn't a test."

_"Good, because I'm usually better at oral."_

"Oh God."

_"Hey, I meant tests, not -... It was you who brought up sex, not me."_

"I didn't want to talk about _that_."

_"Then, what did you want to talk about?"_

"Well, there is this guy."

_"There always is, unless there is a girl or I guess there might be something else too. And I don't mind with the something else either because I'm, you know, an open-minded guy, but I don't know how -... Sorry, go on."_

"There is this guy. He's kind of cute, he's a friend of a lot of my friends and we've been together for some time. Everything is good. The sex is good... I mean, it's sex. Everything else is good, too. And it's easy, most of the time. And I'm getting old, so I should, shouldn't I?"

_"First of all, you don't sound so old and even if you were, who fucking cares, age is just a number, baby... or that's what they say at least, not the baby part, but yeah..."_

"I just know I should probably settle down. We're already pretty settled, but I should settle down with him more... like the kind of settling down where you actually _choose_ grow old with someone, instead of just incidentally occupying the same space while you both get older, because there is a difference, isn't there?"

_"Yeah, of course, there is."_

"I know I should do it, I should choose him. Maybe I'm making this more difficult than it really is, but I keep thinking: Is this it? Is this all I'm going to get? It isn't even about him... or not only him. It's more about who I am with him, around him. It's like I'm too lazy or afraid or whatever to really make it work."

_"... Do you know what you want to do?"_

"I don't - I don't know... or maybe I do, but I'm just not -... I'm fucking scared. I'm afraid to stay, because of who I am with him and who I might become. But I'm afraid to go too, because... it took me forever to find him."

 _"Look, I don't know you, but I know that you probably already know what you need to do. Deep down, you know... If you need someone to tell you it's okay, I can totally do that because it is going to be okay. You're going to be fine whatever you choose... If you stay, you can fight it, fight becoming_ that _. You can not only choose him, but choose to be different with him. And if you decide end things, you won't be alone, not really, not forever, not even for a while, even if you feel lonely."_

"Yeah, I guess."

_"I know it sucks and not in a good way."_

"I-I think... I think I should break up with him. I haven't -... for a while. It hasn't felt right... for me. And I think it won't ever feel right. I think I should."

 _"You don't have to. Only thing you_ should _do is keep true to your feelings and try not to intentionally hurt others in the process."_

"I just hate doing this. I know he won't understand, neither will our friends. Shit, this doesn't even make sense to me... They'll all think I lost my fucking mind and they'll be probably be right."

_"First of all, your friends don't need to understand you. They need to respect your decisions and love you even if they don't understand. If they can't do that, they weren't really your friends anyway. Secondly, isn't it better to lose your mind and you can keep your heart than, you know, the opposite?"_

"I know, I know. You're right... _God_ , what is fucking wrong with me? Why I need a pep talk from a stranger in middle of the night when I already know what I need to do?"

_"Should I send you a bill for my services? Would that ease your pain?"_

"Oh no, thanks, I think I'm fine."

_"I would've offered you a fair payment plan."_

"No, really, I'm fine... I'm actually glad it was you. My someone... I'm glad it was you who answered the phone."

_"I'm glad too. But it might be because if someone else answered, it would've meant that either someone stole my phone or I lost it... again. So I'm really glad I answered too."_

"You're a little crazy, aren't you? I should probably hang up."

_"I'm more than a little crazy. And didn't we already go through the whole thing about things you should do?"_

"Hey, tell me one more thing before I do hang up."

_"And what would you want me to tell you?"_

"What was the question?"

_"What question?"_

"You said earlier that three or four was the answer to a question, but what was the question?"

_"Oh... How many times I've had my heartbroken?"_

"Really?"

_"What?"_

"That was the question?"

_"... No, not really... but it's true too."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N1: Things get a little crazy - or more than a little in this chapter, but it is to be expected as the late night calls continue between two guys who bring out the crazy in each other. (And it is to be expected, since I'm too lazy to limit my crazy for this story.)
> 
> A/N2: Darren is italics, Chris is regular.

_"So did you do it?"_

"Who is this?"

_"Let me see if I remember... I'm - I'm someone you don't know, but it's okay. I don't know you either."_

"Oh."

_"... Hey, you could sound a little more excited to, well, not see, but talk to me."_

"I'm jumping with joy. Sorry, it doesn't translate well over the phone."

_"If you're going to lie like that, you could, you know, at least pretend to breathe a little heavier to really sell it."_

"You don't have enough heavy breather's calling you in the middle of the night?"

_"I do, but I'd be happy to add you in the mix. My Tuesday nights are free if you'd like to breathy heavy to me regularly. Wait, does it count when it was actually me who called you? Would_ you _like_ me _to breathy heavy for you?"_

"No, I'm good. Thanks. Heavy breathing isn't really a thing for me."

_"Well, what is a thing for you?"_

"Cute guys who breathe just normal."

_"Great, I'm half-way there already."_

"And which half is that?"

_"I can't reveal all my secrets. I have to leave some mystery to me."_

"I think there is plenty of mystery. I don't know your name or why you're calling me."

_"I could tell you. My name, you know."_

"No, I'm okay with some mystery. You can tell me why you called instead."

_"I called to follow-up on our previous conversation. I just wanted to, I don't know, to ask if you did it."_

"I'm -... While our little chat was very helpful and I don't mind the repeat, I'm still not paying you for your services."

_"I said I'd give you a fair paym-... Wait, you're doing this on purpose, so I'd -... Stop distracting me and stop dodging the question."_

"Fine, fine... Yes, I did it. Are you happy?"

_"Fuck,_ no _, that's not -... No, I'm not happy. It's not why I called. I just - I know how shitty it can be to do some things, even when you know it's the right thing to do."_

"Yeah, well, it is what it is."

_"Are you - are you okay?"_

"I'm... I'd say fine, but that might be a slight overstatement when I've just dumped my boyfriend of four years for no good reason."

_"Fuck, I didn't know. You didn't say it was four years... But for_ no _good reason? Listening to your heart is always a good reason."_

"Not good enough for everyone."

_"... How did he take it, your ex?"_

"Not good... He yelled until he begged. He is still begging which is almost more horrible than yelling."

_"That's... like you said, it's what it is. Stay strong... You're still not - You're staying with a friend, right?"_

"No, I am, uh... I moved back home. I am staying with my family until I can find an apartment."

_"That's good. That's nice."_

"Yeah, it could be, I mean, it is... It's just that they don't exactly live in the same city which is kind of, well, not ideal for work. And as much as I love my family, there is a reason I left this place the moment I could... but I know, I know. It's still better than staying with _him_."

_"What about your friends? You couldn't maybe -...?"_

"Well, they didn't take the news much better. Half of them didn't quite understand, the other half didn't even bother to listen."

_"Screw that other half, your ex can have them."_

"... I liked that half, too. I wanted to keep them both, I don't know, to share both halves. I-I don't have that many to begin with."

_"Friends? You'll make more. You'll be fine."_

"That's very nice of you, but you're completely off the base, so far you can't even see it any more... I don't make friends easy. I just don't know how to talk to strangers."

_"You're talking to me."_

"And here I thought we were more than strangers."

_"We are. Fuck, we are."_

"Relax. I'm just messing with you."

_"Hey, that was totally uncalled for. Okay, maybe a little called for, seeing that I am the one who called you in the middle of the night, on a weekday."_

"It's fine. I wasn't sleeping anyway."

_"You know, I could... I could be your friend. I think it was you who said that sometimes it's easier to talk to someone who you don't really know... or something like that. You could talk to me if you wanted."_

"Uh, how would that even work?"

_"You'd call me or I'd call you that's how these things generally begin."_

"And I'd talk to you about things?"

_"Yeah, or I'd talk to you, you know, sharing things. I have things, too."_

"Girl things?"

_"And boy things. A bit of both things, because I'm double the trouble."_

"Oh, I have a feeling you're more than that, much more than double."

_"But the offer still stands. This could be us, late night calls with maybe a little bit of heavy breathing."_

"I don't -... I can't promise anything."

_"Then, no-strings-attached late night calls sans heavy breathing?"_

"My favorite kind."

_"Okay, then, it's settled... in a no-strings-attached way."_

"Great."

_"Then, I'll call you next week around same time?"_

"Sure."

_"Or, you know, you can call me... You can call me before that too if you need. It doesn't even have to be in the middle of the night."_

"I'll talk to you next week."

_"Okay."_

"Okay. Bye."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N1: And this craziness continues...
> 
> A/N2: Darren is italics, Chris is regular.

_"I'm a little hurt you haven't called me."_

"Who is this?"

_"Really? Do we_ really _need to go through this every time?"_

"Oh, it's you, the crazy dude."

_"I'd prefer if you'd call me Darren, but I'll answer to crazy dude as well."_

"Okay, crazy dude."

_"I'm choosing to ignore the fact that you just refused to make proper introductions. For the second time, might I add! I'm ignoring it because I'm still hurt you didn't call. I believe I said that you could call me."_

"I've been busy."

_"Too busy to pick up the phone and call a perfect stranger?"_

"But you're not a stranger, _Darren_... Wow. Sorry, that came out a little stalkerish... Besides, I thought Tuesdays were our thing."

_"Yes, but other days could be our thing, too. I said you could call me anytime. I meant it."_

"Uh, okay. I did try to warn you that I'm not - I'm not really good at these things."

_"'s fine. Just tell me what you've been up to."_

"Well, I... I actually found an apartment last week. It was kind of... unexpected. It's more expensive than I could really afford and bigger than I would really need, but I just - I couldn't stay home anymore."

_"So when are you moving?"_

"I already sort of did, I mean, the rest of my things won't come until this weekend, but I've been here since Saturday."

_"That's great."_

"It is. It feels so good to be back in the city... It feels so good to be back to work and to see friends again. Well, those friends who still _want_ to see me."

_"I'd come to see you, but I think I haven't got your new address."_

"I sent you a card. It _must've_ got lost in the mail."

_"I'm_ sure _it has. But how are you really?"_

"I'm fine, really, or at least better every day. I-I don't regret it... I know I did the right thing, but it feels a little weird at times. It feels like I'm missing something, more like a part of myself than someone."

_"Maybe you are, but... it would be okay, you know, if you miss him too. It's okay to miss him, even if it was you who ended things."_

"I know. I do miss parts of him, too. Four years, it's not nothing. There are memories. There are things, stories and jokes, that other people just don't get. Aft-after everything, there have been times when someone does something or says something and I've just looked over my shoulder expecting to see him there by my side, because... he's the only one who would understand or see it the way I do - or he was - or I did - or I don't know. All I know is that he's not there anymore. And every day, I'm more and more okay with it."

_"That's good."_

"Yeah, but I don't -... I don't really want to talk about -... You had things too if I remember correctly. What about you?"

_"I have things, but not right now. It's been... quiet... or not really quiet, because I do flirt, but -_ _"_

"Oh, really? I haven't noticed."

_"Yeah, really. I flirt, but there just hasn't been anyone special in a while."_

"And how you feel about it?"

_"It is what it is, like you always say, even if I don't really_ want _it to be that way."_

"Well... Once, this one crazy dude said something to me that could help you. He said that I won't be alone forever, not even for a while, even when I feel like it... I don't know much, but I think that if it applies to me, it applies probably to you, too."

_"Wow, where did you meet this dude? He does sound crazy."_

"I haven't met him. I just dialed a random number."

_"You probably should've picked a better number."_

"I'm pretty satisfied with what I got."

_"Aww, gee, thanks."_

"Who said I was talking about you?"

_"You said with your heavy, heavy hints, unless you do this with other guys, in which case I am deeply hurt. I thought I was special."_

"Oh, you are special."

_"I'm sure you say that to all the guys."_

"Darren... There is no one else, okay?"

_"Okay."_

"I think I need to go. It's getting late and I need to get up early tomorrow."

_"Yeah, me too. I'll talk to you next week?"_

"Yeah... And Darren, my name... it's Chris."

_"Okay."_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N1: This was surprisingly not crazy chapter. I can't say the same for the next, which will be posted soon.
> 
> A/N2: Darren is italics, Chris is regular.

_"Hey stranger."_

"Darren... _Shit._ Sorry. I couldn't answer when you called... and I meant to call you back, but I guess I forgot."

_"'s fine. At least you still remember my name, not too sure about the rest of me, though."_

"Somehow, I _doubt_ that it is even possible to forget you."

_"Awww, Chris... You think I'm unforgettable?"_

"I, uh... I refuse to answer on the grounds that I may incriminate myself."

_"Spoilsport... I'm letting you get off easy, just this once, because I'm feeling unusually lenient today... except I don't know if I should. You_ did _after all forget to call me."_

"Darren, I'm sorry... I meant to call you. Really. It's just that last week was kind of crazy for me."

_"Good kind of crazy I hope?"_

"Work kind of crazy... I like what I do, so yeah, the good kind."

_"What_ do _you do?"_

"Ummm... I actually do a lot of things, some more fun than others."

_"And what are the more fun kind of things?"_

"They're just... fun... fun kind of things."

_"Really? That's all you're going to give me? After_ all _we've been through together?"_

"And what is it that we've been through?"

_"Why, it's the complexities of life, Christopher."_

"Yes, we've talked about the complexities of my life. We could sometimes talk about the complexities of your life. I believe it was you who said that you have things, too."

_"I do, I do... I just... I tend to get a little, I don't know... I tend to forget myself sometimes. It's not intentional or anything. It's just that I really like listening to people, I like helping people, especially people I like. And sometimes when I'm with them - it doesn't even matter if I'm with them or just talking on the phone - I kind of get sucked into their world and become too focused on their things."_

"For a guy who seems to like to talk, you don't say much about yourself."

_"I don't -... I'm just me. I wouldn't even know what I -... Okay. I'm at a point in my life where... nothing and everything is happening to me, sort of all at the same time. There is nothing happening that's worth mentioning. At the same time, there's a lot of things going on that keeps me busy... so busy that I don't have time to pursue something that would be worth mentioning."_

"That sounds, I don't know, complex?"

_"It is and it isn't... Wow, I'm not making a lot of sense, am I? This is totally why I hate talking about my things."_

"Darren, sometimes, it's good to talk, even if - or especially if - it feels like you're not making sense, because it might mean that whatever you're trying to talk about doesn't really make sense to you either... It's - it's why I called you that first night."

_"Okay?"_

"I mean that I think I knew what I wanted, but I didn't really understand it... not until I said it out loud and heard myself say it. And then, you -..."

_"I think I know... The thing about my life -... You know, when you're at a certain age, you're sort of so busy with work and shit that everything else sort of gets buried under it. I'm an ambitious guy. I know there is a lot of luck involved in life, but I work hard, too. And when I do or because I do, it's like the rest of my life ceases to exist."_

"And how do you feel about it?"

_"I don't know. In many ways, it's okay, because I have a lot of friends who do the same things and I do meet new people, so it's not like my social life stops just because I'm busy, but... It's like what you said that first time about, about getting old. And I -"_

"And _you_ said that age is just a number, basically that I shouldn't worry about getting older. I don't think you should either."

_"I'm not old, I'm not worried, but... Chris, there is no time to waste in life. The past few years have gone by in a flash. I don't want the whole life to be like that... I am sort of becoming conscious of the fact that when I put a lot effort and hours into one part of my life, it's like I'm stealing it from another part. And I'm realizing that I'm stealing from the part that would allow me to, I don't know, find someone special."_

"I'm tempted to say that I thought _I_ was someone special to you, but I won't, because I know what you mean and I'm not special like that. I -"

_"Chris. You -"_

"No, let me finish... I get that you're worried, but I don't think you need to be. Even if you had time, you can't force things. That's what I learned from my, uh, -... that's what I learned. You can't make things happen when you want them to happen. Even if you had time, it wouldn't really matter. The opposite is true, too. When something happens, when you will find something _special_ , it won't matter even if you don't really have time. It will come into your life in a way that doesn't really need time or that you don't even realize putting in the time into it. My point is: Don't worry."

_"So... basically, hakuna matata?"_

"Yes, Simba, exactly that."

_"I don't know what to say, except... thanks."_

"No problem. I -... Never mind."

_"... It's getting late. I think I really need to go to sleep. I'm sort of applying for a job tomorrow, so I need my beauty sleep. You never know, maybe... Maybe I'll meet someone special there."_

"Yeah. Maybe."

_"So..."_

"Darren?"

_"Yeah?"_

"I just... I wanted to, I don't know... I want you to know that I do appreciate it, I mean, you calling me... I really like talking to you. I-I didn't mean to blow you off last week. I really didn't."

_"I know. I believe you. And I like talking to you, too."_

"Okay."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N1: And another two chapters posted for this silly little thing today. This second chapter is a little crazier than the previous... And finally, it's Chris who calls in this chapter.
> 
> A/N2: Darren is italics, Chris is regular.

"I got it, I got the part!"

_"Chris?"_

"Yeah, who did you think this was?"

_"I don't know. Your voice -"_

"Yeah, sorry, I know. Babies, puppies and good news do things to my voice."

_"In this case, I hope it's good news, because if you got only a part of a baby or a puppy, I'm officially horrified and will hang up."_

"What would I do with a part of a baby or a puppy?"

_"I don't know. For a while back there, I thought you might be a vampire since we only talk at night. The_ only _time I called you during the day, you didn't pick up... so yeah, a vampire. I think a vampire could be pretty excited to get a part of either."_

"Okay, now I think _I_ should be horrified and hang up. Thanks for putting horribly vivid images in my head... You really think I could be a vampire? I could be a mogwai, too."

_"Oh my God, that's way better! Are you hairy and adorable?"_

"Wow, I'm actually impressed that you got the reference."

_"Of course, I got it. Who do you think you're talking to? I'm not some amateur."_

"Okay, okay... And to your previous question, half might be true, the other half not so much."

_"Which half? I bet you're adorable?"_

"You'll _never_ know. Bes-"

_"Never say never, Chris."_

" _Besides_ , I believe I proved I'm neither a vampire nor a mogwai seeing that I'm calling you in middle of the day."

_"Yes. Yes, you did. You called me to share your good news?"_

"Yes, I... I auditioned for a part a couple of weeks ago and they just called me that I got it."

_"Congrats! Actor?"_

"Ummm... Yes."

_"Me, too. Hollywood or Broadway?"_

"Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence. You don't even know me and you still think I'm worthy of either... or maybe you think that because you _don't_ know me."

_"Or maybe because I believe people deserve to have their dreams fulfilled, you know, assuming either is a dream for you."_

"An actor and an optimist. You haven't been doing this for a very long, have you?"

_"I resent the notion. I've been at it for a few years."_

"Anything I might have seen you in?"

_"Seeing might not be as much of an issue as remembering. The highlight of my career, the role as Surfer Dude #3, wasn't exactly memorable, but at least it beat Surfer Dude #4... And no, there wasn't actually a Surfer Dude #4."_

"So Hollywood?"

_"Yeah."_

"Me, too."

_"Wait, so you got the part? I'm waiting to get another kindly worded rejection for a role I auditioned not long ago. I can't believe it... You got it! You got the role I auditioned for!"_

"I doubt that."

_"You are_ that _dude with the blond shaggy hair who auditioned just before me, aren't you?"_

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don't have blond hair and I don't go for roles of a beach bum."

_"Oh yeah. Then, tell me, Mr Hot-Shot: What glorious part did you get?"_

"Police officer #2 and I'm going to be the best damn cop ever."

_"Yeah, you will. You got that whole bossy authority vibe about you which will definitely play to your advantage."_

"Not to steal your words or anything, but I resent that notion. I am not bossy. I'm determined."

_"Okay. Sure, honey, whatever you say."_

"Okay, enough about me. Let's focus on you for a change. You said you auditioned?"

_"Yeah, last week actually_ _. Small role with a few lines, a male nanny for a family drama. I still don't get how my manager thought the role could be a great fit for me. The guy is a douche."_

"A male nanny... That sounds... interesting."

_"Don't laugh! Don't you dare laugh."_

"I'm not. Really, I'm not... Okay, maybe I am a little."

_"Oh, I'm happy that my despair brings you such joy... But really, I still can't believe they wanted me to audition for the role. I can't believe I did... I was desperate, really, really fucking desperate."_

"I'm sorry... I can't -... A male nanny. It just sounds like the premise for porn, really, really bad porn."

_"And let me tell you, I've seen porn with much better plot. The scenes I auditioned for... not so good."_

"Oh, I can only imagine."

_"Not that I'd turn it down, if they select me."_

"I know."

_"I'd -... just like you with your cop thing, I'd totally be the best fucking male nanny ever... except I wouldn't, because, hello, Mrs. Doubtfire was totally badass?! Although I don't know if he or she or he can be counted as a male nanny... but, but... Where was I? Oh yeah, I'd try to be awesome if they'd choose me for the role because it's still a job, you know."_

"I know."

_"It's not even about getting ahead. It's like... You love what you do, but you get to really do it so rarely that when you_ do _get to do it, it's special just because you get the chance. The role doesn't even really matter. It's just the opportunity to do and be surrounded by the thing you love."_

"Darren, _I get it_. I am an actor, too."

_"Yeah, you are... I can't believe you didn't tell me earlier? What a weird coinkydink!"_

"It's not even the weirdest _coinkydink_ if you really think about it."

_"Wait, it means -... Do you live in LA?"_

"Yes."

_"Wait, wait, wait... Maybe we've worked on something together or met somewhere?"_

"No."

_"How do you know? It is possible, you know. You're here, I'm here, we could've -"_

"We haven't. I know."

_"But_ how _could you know? We could've met, but you just don't remember."_

"I doubt that if I had met you, I could've forgot you, I mean, your particular brand of crazy."

_"So you_ do _think I am unforgettable. You can't deny it this time."_

"Fine, you're totally unforgettable. You leave all the guys and girls swooning after you."

_"Awww, thanks, babe, I like you, too."_

"Darren..."

_"Sorry, you and your words just do magical, magical things to me. I couldn't help myself."_

"It's -... It's fine. Like I said, I'm sure I wouldn't have forgot you."

_"I kind of believe you. I don't think I would've forgot you either."_

"Okay."

_"Okay."_

"... I think I need to go. I, uh, I just wanted to let you know that I got the part."

_"I -.... I'm happy that you called me."_

"... Isn't this just what we do? I mean, share the - not only complexities of life - but the highs and the lows. I wanted you to be there for the highs as well."

_"Chris... I -"_

"Darren, it's okay. It's fine. Just don't say -... I really got to go."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N1: Sometimes, the spirit of a story gets stubborn and refuses to go the way you want it to go. Sometimes, you just have to let go and follow where the story leads you. In this particular case, it led me to Brian and the magical place at the end of the chapter, neither of which were ever in my plans for this story.
> 
> A/N2: Darren is italics, Chris is regular.

"It's official."

_"What is?"_

"I'm becoming a crazy old cat lady."

_"Okay?"_

"I got _a cat_. It's not like I didn't have a choice, it's not like the cat just appeared on my doorstep. No, I actually went out and got a cat... It's a slippery slope, I imagine. I got a cat, I'm bound to get more. Soon, I will probably start knitting and drinking tea and, I don't know, doing whatever crazy old cat ladies do. I will probably adopt five more cats and we will live -"

_"Woah."_

"What?"

_"I -.... I just got chills. Actual chills, man. I thought that - that, you know, the nervous ramblings and overly dramatic stories was my thing, not yours. I -... Is this like Freaky Friday, except where we swapped our quirks instead of our bodies, because that would be kind of cool, but I think it might also be -"_

"No, it's not. I'm still me and you're still clearly you. I think you just proved that."

_"Damn."_

"Hey, it's okay. I kind of like your quirks. They suit you."

_"Awww, thanks, Chris... I -... I don't know what to say."_

"Say - say that you'll organize an intervention before I devote my life to making doilies. Owning a cat I'm okay with, but making doilies that's - that's where I draw the line."

_"I promise. I won't let it get that far. After this, I'm getting my intervention banner from the storage, just in case."_

"Thanks."

_"No prob. So... how is the little fur ball? It does have fur, doesn't it? You didn't get one of those hairless cats that you carry around in a plush pillow and that hisses your name like a creepy devil spawn she really is."_

"It's a he and he has fur, so I think I'm safe, although it might be a bit too early to tell. I'll keep you posted. If - if you don't hear from me in a month, send a rescue party. Make sure they're armed."

_"I will... What is he doing now?"_

"He's just sitting there and ignoring me. We've developed this, uh, this whole routine where we coexist in same space and he pretends not to notice me and I pretend not to be bothered by it, until one of us gets bored and leaves. Usually him."

_"Okay."_

"It's only been a few days. We're still feeling each other out."

 _"Right... Not that this isn't a riveting topic, but you_ really _didn't call me just to talk about the cat, right?"_

"I -... No, but I don't know... I -..."

_"Okay... Then, can we rewind a bit? You said that you're -... I don't get it. Why exactly does getting a cat make you a crazy old cat lady? I'm pretty sure you don't have right parts for that."_

"Actually, you don't know for sure, you haven't seen me or my parts, but -"

_"That would be quick and easy to fix. Assuming your mobile has a cam, you could just -"_

"- _but_ that's beside the point. I got a cat and I'm getting old _er_. And I've been called ma'am enough times over the phone to earn the honorary title. _And_ most importantly, I'm single. I'm so single."

_"... You don't want to be?"_

"I - I don't know. I -..."

_"Okay..."_

"... When is it? When is the right time to, uh, to move on?"         

_"Are you ready to move on?"_

"I don't know. I think I might be... or I might be ready to think about moving on, but... if I do, am I rushing thing? Is it too soon?"

_"I don't know. I think only you will know when the right time is."_

"I don't know either... I think it might - I think I might be ready to _think_ about moving on, but I don't know if I can."

_"Chris."_

"A part of me feels... guilty, I guess, for even thinking about it. I know that it's - it's over and that I don't owe him anything, but -"

_"You don't. You don't owe him."_

"I know, but I still feel like I do or like I should. It's - it's like I'm supposed to feel bad because he's hurting, because I hurt him and I can't, uh, not hurt until he doesn't hurt either... so I feel guilty for wanting to move on and thinking that maybe I could... And I - I _hate_ how I feel. I don't hate him; it's not because of him. He's not making me feel this way. It's me. "

_"I get it."_

"It's just that I want to be happy or at least consistently okay. I'm not in hurry to find a guy or anything. I just hate feeling like I do, stuck in this place where I don't know how to do anything because of how I feel. And I hate feeling guilty for wanting to get pass this."

_"You do know it's okay. It's okay to want things. It's okay for you to look forward; it's okay to, you know, to be happy. Maybe even someday soon. Don't let your guilt or whatever to keep you from moving on. Don't let that be the thing that still ties you to him... Look, I know it's... difficult to let go, but you're not with him anymore. You left him for a reason. He needs to move on, so do you. And the only way you can do it, is if you let go of your guilt, too."_

"I -... Yeah... You're right. I know you're right."

_"And, for what it's worth, I think you're already doing it, moving on. It doesn't mean that everything will suddenly fall into place, that you will miraculously find the answers to the questions your decisions surfaced. Moving on is as much about asking questions as it is finding answers."_

"Okay."

_"Sorry, that got, uh, rather philosophical, but I really do think you're moving on. The thing about moving on is that it happens one step at a time. And you admitting that you might be ready even to think about moving on, that's a big fucking step."_

"I guess. It's just that it feels like there is hundred steps between here and _there_. And I'd want to be there already."

_"Maybe, you are closer than you think."_

"I don't know. I -... I just know that I can't do what I've been doing. Even if I'm not really searching for someone just yet, I think I should put myself out there, at least allow myself to be found. I know fairy tales aren't true; real life is never as easy. Prince Charming won't show up at my doorstep to proclaim his undying love to me before whisking me away to our happily ever after."

_"He might if he had your address."_

"He doesn't and he won't, but it's ok. In all honesty, if a weird dude would come up to my door and start babbling how much he loves me with crazy eyes, I'd probably lock the doors and call the cops."

_"Okay... I think - I think I have to break it to you."_

"Okay?"

_"I think your inner child is dead."_

"Actually, my inner child is still alive and just fine. _He_ doesn't need false hope and excessive romantics to survive. He knows that fairy tales and real world are two very different things."

_"I know there is a hint of magic in the real world. Perhaps, it doesn't quite work like in books and movies. It's something much more subtle, something that none of us can see or hear. You can only feel it, but it's still there."_

"Okay, Harry Potter."

_"I'll prove it to you. I'll prove you someday that there is magic in this world."_

"You do that."

_"You don't sound convinced."_

"I'm not. I guess I'll believe when I - not see it, but -  _feel_ it like you said."

 _"Have I ever let you down?_ "

"No, you haven't."

_"Okay..."_

"Okay..."

" _Chris, I'm really glad you called. I'm always glad when you call even if it is just to let me know you got a cat."_

"Then, I'll be sure to call you when I get a second cat."

_"Okay, I have to go. I still need to take care of few things today. I'll talk to you later."_

"Yeah."

_"Someday, I'll prove it. I promise."_

"Okay."

_"Okay. Bye."_


End file.
